Identity Theft

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My identity was stolen...years ago, my identity was stolen. I cannot tell you how or when, I can only tell you it was. It didn’t seem to happen all at once, but slowly, over time, like a slow decay it faded until I was no longer recognizable.

And the thief wasn’t ever caught, in fact he still operates in the same, dark ways.....his lies. At an early age I remember eating from his offering of lies and misconceptions. Although I really didn’t know any different. No one teaches us that even though we may feel a certain way, it doesn’t always paint an accurate picture of what is actually taking place. We are rarely offered truth, but mainly distraction.

One of my earliest memories is from my classroom in Pre-K. I remember a small group of my peers crowded around a poster depicting an alligator sitting in a dentist chair getting his teeth cleaned. I so desperately wanted to get in the middle and look at the poster, but I wasn’t welcomed. Instead I was regulated to the outer boundary, never truly ‘welcomed in’ and I circled a few times hoping my teacher would see my dilemma and desperation and put an end to my misery. She, too, never seemed to look up and take notice. Reluctantly, I resigned to watching from the perimeter wishing I could be on the inside. Such an early memory now gives me an understanding into a lie that would take root in my heart and convince me that I would never really authentically be ‘welcomed in’. That I would always look longingly from the periphery and wish I had a front row seat where the action was.

This seemingly small, insignificant event was hijacked by the identity thief and he capitalized on my insecurity for the majority of my life. In fact he was so good at convincing me of who I wasn’t that I worked diligently to be who others wanted me to be....on many fronts. My navigation system depended on their opinion of me and what was acceptable in their circle of influence. I was not a transformer, I was a conformer..... and many times that role of conforming led me into some rough and tragic situations. My decisions were based on popularity and how low or high my self esteem was at each moment.

I gave my heart away and my honor and my respect all for the sake of being ‘welcomed in’. It didn’t work and I gave away pieces of myself without ever realizing it.

At the lowest point in my life, when depression was loud and its options became preferable, I desperately needed my identity.....not my earthly identity but the one my heavenly Father spoke over me before I was even conceived. I never knew He had such beauty and truth for my life because nothing in my surroundings growing up sounded like Him or mirrored His heart. But when I finally fell to my knees and couldn’t get up....He showed up, and I’ve never been the same since. He unlocked every lie in my heart and poured in His truth.

He welcomed me in and beckoned me to stay in His arms with my ears open to His truth. His words spoke of redemption and acceptance and unconditional love that transcended all the lies, wounds and tragedies.

And I know, what He does for one...He does for all, for any who are willing to call out and ask and receive from Him.

Its time to take back your true identity.....you are a child of the Most High God and your inheritance is love, hope, joy, truth, peace, grace, mercy, kindness and much more. He withholds nothing and His heart wants you to believe and know you deserve everything His kingdom offers.

Lord, You know everything there is to know about me. You’ve examined my innermost being with Your loving gaze. You perceive every moment of my heart and soul, and understand my every thought before it even enters my mind. You are so intimately aware of me, Lord. You read my heart like an open book and You know all the words I am about to speak before I even start a sentence! You know every step I will take before my journey even begins! You’ve gone into my future to prepare the way, and in kindness you follow me behind me to spare me from the harm of the past. With Your hand of love upon my life, You impart a Father’s blessing to me.” Psalm 139: 1-5 The Passion Translation